Week three of chemo is rough. I feel nauseous and hopeless. I cry when the catheter is placed as I feel so violated. Yet I must sit there. The nausea worsens, I hyperventilate and I vomit and then retch and retch.. “I just want to curl up on the floor and die.” I tell my partner.
Well there’s always that possibility.
Next week is better when I don’t fast pre chemo, I take h2 receptor antagonists go reduce stomach acid and they give me all the drugs including lorazepam as a sedative.
They also use the port placed subcutaneously surgically the day before. This reduces needle sticks. I still cannot believe I am here and this is my life now.
What there is of it left.
